Walter Sam was awarded an Honorable Mention in Drama in the 2022 Prison Writing Contest.
Every year, hundreds of imprisoned people from around the country submit poetry, fiction, nonfiction, and dramatic works to PEN America’s Prison Writing Contest, one of the few outlets of free expression for the country’s incarcerated population.
INT. LOGAN ST. HOUSE – DAY
These are holes in the walls hiding little pairs of blinking eyes, light fixtures crookedly hanging by a thread, and the staircase is missing the first eight steps. The house is uninhabitable save for a shiny grand piano.
Mark enters carrying a stack of envelopes and wiping his face clear of mime paint.
He waddles to the radio and cuts it on. Swing music takes hold of his feet. He begins to dance with an invisible partner. They twist, twirl, and spin.
Mark throws him/her into the air, and, accidentally, the envelopes. He manages to bat the envelopes into a juggle.
Mark gives up on the juggling act to catch his invisible partner who’s been in the air for an impossible amount of time.
He rushes to a mark with open arms and is leveled flat. After a moment he makes it to his feet, stumbles to the radio to change the station (War Talk), and begins to pick up the fallen letters.
FIRST ENVELOPE READS:
2nd National URGENT NOTICE
He picks up another; it reads:
NY Utility FINAL NOTICE
Mark scurries to pick up a third:
LAST FINAL NOTICE
PAY UP OR ELSE!
Larry and George waltz in.
LARRY
And they say that the chocolate doesn’t melt in your hand. All lies to make a cent from every jingling pocket, Georgie.
Mark urgently waves the stack of mail in Larry’s face.
LARRY
Wha’d I tell you about the mail? As long as you don’t open the envelope we haven’t received a bill and we don’t have to pay. It’s the law.
Larry takes the envelopes and adds them to a mounting mail collection under a couch cushion.
LARRY
Here, rest your feet. Let’s listen to some radio.
Larry throws Mark onto the couch and George turns up the radio: (War Talk).
LARRY
Would you change it to Amis and Andy or something upbeat?
Mark stands George up, high steps back and forth, gives a Nazi salute then air machine gun murders George. George falls dead; Larry is unaffected by the imaginary assault.
LARRY
Ain’t no Nazi shot a single one of us.
Mark cradles George’s lifeless body and presents George’s face to Larry.
LARRY
So what, they look like us? What are you gonna do tough guy? Fly over there and grab the funny mustache man, put him over your knee and teach him a lesson?
A fake dead George peeks to see if it’s OK to come alive.
LARRY
The truth is, there is nothing we can do. So why torture ourselves with the news of things we can’t change? We have our own business to mind.
Larry cuts off the radio.
LARRY
Let’s have dinner.
George bounces up from the floor and they all gather around the dinner table. All at once they empty their pockets onto the table: a half-eaten apple, a can of beans, two marbles, seven pennies, and an orange crash on the table top.
Mark rips his pockets out and places the fabric in the pile.
LARRY
Markie, what’s going on? The old foot giving you problems? Have you lost your. . .
Larry mimes a wall, then a door knob; turns it and taps Mark on the nose.
LARRY
Touch.
Mark looks at the floor with shame.
LARRY
Then what is it? Don’t tell me that thief stole the day’s take again?
Mark turns away from the assault.
LARRY
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on my mother.
George hammers Larry with a gut punch. Larry drops to a knee.
LARRY
Amen, Georgie, Amen. My point exactly. Never let nobody disrespect ya mother. Larry stands. Catch the gal, Markie, don’t let her get away. Now let’s have dinner.
The brothers pull out chairs for each other and sit with perfect posture. Napkins are placed in laps then everyone nods; then everyone, in survival of the fittest fashion, grabs an item.
Two hands wrestle over an orange. The losing arm settles for the half-eaten apple.
They eat.
LARRY
Georgie broke some punk kids’ fingers today!
George’s eyes yell snitch! Mark’s shoulders curl into the universal sign for “why”? George shoots up one, two, three fingers, pats his fist, then punches himself in the stomach spitting up apple seeds.
LARRY
If the punk disrespected ma, you should have broke his nose too.
Three knocks disrupt dinner.
LARRY
Couldn’t have been.
Three knocks chime once more.
LARRY
Must be the wrong address. Give ‘em a second.
Mark and Georgie inspect the silence. . . Three more knocks shatter the atmosphere at the dinner table, and the trio move for the front door.
INT. FRONT DOOR – SUNSET
Larry opens the front door to:
Maurice Puggle, 48, a pale carnivorous mortician-looking gentleman. The last ray of daylight is pulled from the sky as Maurice comes into focus.
MAURICE
Mr. Blackman? Mr. Larry Blackman?
LARRY
What’s it to ya?
MAURICE
My name is Maurice Puggle, Associate VP at 2nd National. I am here to discuss an urgent matter. May I come in?
Mark and George push into Larry: They both shake their heads No!
LARRY
Oh sure, come in.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
The group enters.
LARRY
Mark, help out our guest with his coat.
Mark helps Maurice out of his coat then flings it on the ground. George helps Maurice to a seat cushion right atop the pile of letters. Everyone grabs a seat around the coffee table.
LARRY
Our apologies for having you waiting outside for so long. We didn’t recognize the sound. We don’t get visitors. . . ever.
MAURICE
Yes, well, it is not bank policy to make visits at such an hour, but I have been here three times before in the daytime and no one is ever home.
LARRY
Ya, well, I guess you could say we’re productive citizens; finding ways to keep busy.
MAURICE
Mr. Blackman, I’ll save us some time and be frank because I can see that you have no idea why I’m here even though I have sent you countless notices.
Maurice adjusts himself to find a comfortable position atop the mountain of mail.
LARRY
Notices? What notices?
Mark reaches in between Maurice’s legs for the envelopes, Larry jumps to tackle him before he can produce any evidence. They fall atop Maurice.
MAURICE
My word!
George, wanting to join in the fun, jumps atop the pile.
LARRY
Alright you two. Time out! Time out.
Everyone returns to their seats.
MAURICE
What’s the matter with these two (indicating the twins)? Are they deaf and dumb or dumb and dumber?
LARRY
Hey you watch the insults. Their hearing works just fine, and I assure you they’re a whole lot dumber than you’d care to find out.
The twins give stabbing stares.
LARRY
About these notices, I assure you, we have never got them, therefore we are unaware and legally not liable.
MAURICE
Ah ha ha, if only the world spun in that direction, Mr. Blackman. But it doesn’t. This house will be foreclosed on in 12 days whether you got the letters or not.
LARRY
Wait just a minute. I don’t know what kind of scam you’re running, but this house is paid for full and clear.
MAURICE
That’s almost true as the houses taxes haven’t been paid in years and it should have been foreclosed on for that alone, but the debt I speak of is a $16,000 debt left by the deceased owner of the home, a Mr. Aubry Blackman.
George’s eyes scan the room for the meaning of the work deceased.
LARRY
Deceased?
MAURICE
Yes? Deceased. I’m sorry, did you not know? (Finding it humorous) He died many months ago. The paperwork for debt collections moves slower for deaths, go figure. (Placing a hand on Mark’s shoulder) I’m sorry for your loss, but he owed $16,247.38. The house will be foreclosed on and auctioned in 12 days if the debt is not paid in full. (Turning to Larry with a painted sad face) I don’t suppose you have the cash on hand do you?
LARRY
Suppose not. . . The gambling sharks are using the banks to do their dirty work these days?
MAURICE
This is no gambling debt I assure you. I am here because 2nd National cares about its banking family. We want to make you aware of all available options; you being the deceased’s only next of kin.
LARRY
Options, huh?
MAURICE
Yes, well, this house won’t sell for anywhere near that amount in these. . . (he surveys the cave of a house) market conditions. So as a courtesy I can help advise you on ways to raise the capital. I see you have a lovely grand piano that may fetch a hefty amount. Do you have any other antiques or jewelry on hand that you could sell, you know, to save the home?
Mark and George await Larry’s call. Larry looks to the piano, then to the twin faces of Mark and George.
EXT. LOGAN ST. – DAY (FLASHBACK – 1915)
Young George and young Mark await an answer. Young Larry (O.S.). Fastball. Young Mark and young George throw their glove/oven mitts down in protest.
YOUNG MARK
Just walk him, Larry. Rogers at bat next and you know he’s a guaranteed three strikes.
YOUNG GEORGE
Walk Larry Walk
YOUNG LARRY
That loads the bases. A single score and we lose.
YOUNG MARK
So we keep it tied, walk ‘em.
Young Larry considers the option for a split second.
YOUNG LARRY
I’m the eldest. I say fastball! Logan St. on 3.
Larry spits in his own hand and offers it. George spits in Larry’s hand then walks to 2nd base.
YOUNG MARK
Three.
Young Mark goes back to home plate. Young Larry warms up for the big pitch.
YOUNG LARRY
Right down the middle (mimes a fast pitch). My fastball is fast enough (mimes a pitch). A fastball is fast enough (talks to the ball). Fastball be fast enough.
Young Walter awaits the pitch from Young Larry.
YOUNG MARK
(To Young Walter) Try to keep it on this side of the Hudson, it’s our only ball.
YOUNG WALTER
I got you, Markie. (Yells to Larry) Aye Larry my mom said I could stay out late tonight but I do have to be home before my 21st birthday.
YOUNG LARRY
Hold your horses. Here comes the fireball.
Larry sends the gooey spit covered orb straight down the middle. Walter swings his bat true and sends the ball to Canada. Young George throws his mitt into the air to stop the home run but it misses by a mile.
Young Walter admiring the view of the soaring ball spots strange activity.
YOUNG WALTER
Aye Markie. Are y’all moving or something?
Mark sees men moving something out of his house, he takes off running. Larry and George follow.
INT. LOGAN ST. HOUSE – DAY (FLASHBACK 1915)
Aubry Blackman, 39, the kind of guy who goes all in with a pair of 8s because he saw the other guy’s Tell: He blinked. Aubry is lifting half of a piano through the front door.
AUBRY
Tilt it up, Joe. You got to tilt it. Work with me, geeze!
From under the piano through the slightest crack of space the boys are birthed, one by one, into the house and latch onto Aubry and the piano.
YOUNG LARRY
What are you doing? You can’t sell it. It’s not yours to sell.
YOUNG MARK
Where are you taking it? It’s Moms, you can’t just get rid of it.
YOUNG GEORGE
Put it back. Put it back. Put it back.
Aubry slings young George from his leg and knocks Young Larry off of his back.
AUBRY
You like food and running water don’t ya? It ain’t free. The piano has to go and that’s all there is to it.
YOUNG LARRY
We don’t eat that much, and we’ll stop taking baths to save water.
YOUNG MARK
Me and George will get a paper route. We know all the paper houses, don’t we Georgie?
YOUNG GEORGE
Mommy is gonna come back and be angry, wait till Mommy gets home.
AUBRY
She ain’t never coming back, and neither is this piece of junk.
The boys go apeshit. George bites Aubry on the ankle. Larry gouges Aubry’s eyes with his thumbs. Mark kicks Aubry in the family jules.
Aubry drops his half of the piano in a musical crash. Joe sticks his head through the top of the doorway.
JOE
This is too much trouble. It’s ruined anyway. You’ll have to find some other way to pay, Aubry.
AUBRY
(Coiling on the floor) We had a deal, Joe. Joe. Joe!
The boys jump up and cheer to celebrate the team win.
INT. LOGAN ST. HOUSE – NIGHT (PRESENT DAY)
The piano is the only thing in the house that sparkles.
MAURICE (O.S.)
. . . thus rendering the bank helpless to extend the deadline. If you cannot find a way to come up with the amount in full by the 8th you’ll be evicted from the premises, it’s the law.
LARRY
We get the picture, you’ll get your $16,000.
MAURICE
$247 and 38 cents. Not a penny short or we can’t accept.
The twins usher Maurice out of the house.
LARRY
Thanks for stopping by. Georgie will be seeing you out.
MAURICE
Here, take my card.
The card is handed to Larry who hands it to Mark who puts it under the couch cushion. Larry blindfolds Maurice by throwing his coat over his head. George and Mark carry Maurice to the door.
EXT. LOGAN ST. HOUSE – NIGHT
Maurice flies through the front door out down to the sidewalk of the brownstone.
MAURICE
Ouch, my arm! You people cannot treat me like this. I was here to help you. I ought to have that animal of a brother of yours put in jail!
LARRY
Yeah well, Georgie here is a little messed up in the head; legally he’s only 12 years old. He’s not liable for his actions, it’s the law.
MAURICE
I’m going to enjoy having you bozos thrown out on the street. Three middle aged men living in this city without a cent of traceable income. Hmph, the street is too good for you; a cage is where you belong.
George attempts to leap off of the stoop to a prone Maurice. Larry pulls him back.
LARRY
Whatever place you call home has got to be a hell of a lot worse than any cage they could find to put us in. Good night Mr. Puggle. You take care of that arm.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT
The trio ambles into the living room like a funeral procession. Larry stops at the coat rack and removes the only item, a bowler hat. Larry places the hat on the coffee table as everyone gathers around. Mark signals for everyone to bow their heads.
GEORGE – HEAD BOWED
INT. LOGAN ST. HOUSE – NIGHT (FLASHBACK 1915)
Young George plays the piano and is singing with all his might. Aubry, with two pillows held to each ear, yells at George from the couch.
INT. LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (PRESENT)
George smiles
MARK – HEAD BOWED
INT. LOGAN ST. HOUSE – DAY (FLASHBACK 1919)
Young Mark, cigar in hand, coughs uncontrollably while Aubry and his buddies sit around the table, that’s covered with cards and booze, laughing.
INT. LIVING ROOM – DAY (PRESENT)
Mark coughs up a laugh.
Larry – eyes wide open.
EXT. STATUE OF LIBERTY – DAY (FLASHBACK – 1907)
Toddler Larry sports his dad’s bowler hat and sits atop his dad, Aubry’s, shoulders at the feet of the Statue of Freedom.
INT. – LIVING ROOM – NIGHT (PRESENT)
Larry wipes his face clear of tears.
THE HAT
LARRY (O.S.)
The old man’s really gone for good. He was a good for nothing two bit hustler, but he was our father. I guess I thought one day he would show up with an apology. (A beat) Instead he runs up a tab and stiffs us with the bill. That lousy son of a . . .
George slaps Larry before he can insult the dead. Then he gestures towards the clock, by pulling each brother by the nose to the wall clock.
LARRY
What date did that clown say?
Mark moves one of the hands on the broken clock to the number eight.
LARRY
Well that’s twelve days, we need a plan! Mark, get the vault!
Mark disappears through a door. George moves to the piano and touches it as gently as a newborn.
LARRY
We ain’t selling it, Georgie. We’ll come up with the dough without selling the only piece of family history we got.
Mark appears with a square vault in his arms. With shaky legs and a strained neck he inches the vault to the dining table.
LARRY
Now’s not the time, Markie.
Larry easily takes the vault from his arms and briskly carries it to the table. George produces a hammer and hands it to Larry.
LARRY
This is what we keep a savings for. We might not have $16,000 but we’ll be close.
Larry swings the hammer and cracks open the porcelain piggy bank. Roaches fly out and go everywhere. The boys stomp, smash, and clobber the roaches with hammers, feet, and even wooden chairs. When the roaches clear the scene all that’s left is what appears to be a rotten half-eaten sandwich and a small pile of coins.
LARRY
What the hell is this? Where’s the money?
Mark and George haven’t got a clue.
LARRY
What are we going to do? I guess that’s it then, we lost.
Mark drags in a rolling chalkboard from a doorway. He writes $16,247.38 big at the top in white chalk. George, counting coins at the table, takes a piece of chalk and writes $21.10 at the bottom. Mark, being suspicious, checks the coins then changes the amount to $2.10 and slaps George. They look to Larry for help.
HIGH ANGLE from top of chalkboard on Larry lacking confidence. To the broken clock on the wall with the second hand ticking in the same spot. To the needy twin faces of his baby brothers.
THE HAT
LOW ANGLE FROM HAT OF LARRY
AUBRY (V.O.)
Anything you want can be yours here Larry. Always remember that. You don’t have to let nobody tell you what you can have, if you want it, take it.
Larry puts on Aubry’s hat, coughs up the biggest spit wad ever and offers his hand to the twins who add to the pile of spit and hands.
LARRY
It’s the last evening and we’re down big but it’s not over. Win or lose we’ll do it together, and if right at the end it looks like we’re not gonna pull it out, we’ll steal home. . . Logan St. on three. Three!
They all stand with their spit hand awkwardly out to their side.
Purchase Variations on an Undisclosed Location: 2022 Prison Writing Awards Anthology here.
