Matthew Mendoza was awarded Second Place in Drama in the 2016 Prison Writing Contest

Characters

Manny- Mid-40s. Manny is physical, like a former athlete, but not necessarily lean. He has the mesmerizing charisma of a movie star or a televangelist.

Steve- Early 20s. Steve is blandly handsome with a casual, surfer-like quality.

Dana- Early 20s. Black. Dana is a former college swimmer. Focused.

Amanda- 19. A Pollyanna that embraces life’s dark side. She chooses to be happy, even excited, by the things that happen to her. She wears a boyish bob, buzzed short in the back.

Jenny- Early 20s. Pretty. Slender.

A word on Amanda and Jenny. I’d prefer that they not be played like the ga-ga white girl stereotype that is so common now. They are not dazzled by Manny. These are smart women that want the things that they see on TV and read about in magazines.

ACT 1

With its view of the Dallas skyline and sleek but spare furniture, MANNY‘s condo resembles a zen men’s club. Vivid color is supplied by exotic but vaguely sensual furniture and paintings. Even the skyline is impressionistic bordering on the surreal. A clutch of heavy, early-American furniture is wedged against the wall. The front door is at the backstage wall. A hallway is stage right.

JENNY hops through the apartment in her underwear, collecting her scattered clothes. She lounges for a moment on the red chaise like a silent film star. She rises and dances to the window. She pauses at the view of Dallas. She bounces on her tiptoes and squeals in excitement. After she calms herself, she sets her skirt shirt and shoes on the chaise and dresses.

STEVE pushes through the door, holding a large envelope. He kicks the door shut behind him.

 

STEVE

Manny! Your “concierge” asked me to carry this up. I guess he thinks I’m moving in, too.

JENNY freezes as STEVE dumps the envelope on the table.STEVE notices JENNY and turns to give her some privacy. She hurries into her shirt.

STEVE

Hey! Sorry! I’m Steve. Manny’s step-son.

JENNY

Oh. Wow. Steve. I knew I’d run into you sooner or later.

(STEVE turns back to JENNY)

STEVE

Jenny.

JENNY

It’s just Jen, now. A little more grown up.

STEVE

Sure. OK.

JENNY

Manny’s in the shower. (pause) I hope you’re OK with this. I mean, you look like you’ve seen a ghost. I bet this looks a little crazy. It’s been like six years. This looks crazy, right?

STEVE

How are you? You look good.

(JENNY jerks shut her shirt, buttons it)

JENNY

Thanks. I am good. I’m at a doctor’s office. Receptionist. And hostessing part time at Sliver’s. It’s really kind of a dump but it pays pretty good. It’s temporary. They both are, I hope. Sea-Land laid me off when I passed on Riga. I was like Riga? You’re not still at that grocery store, are you?

STEVE

Yeah. Six years now, can you believe it?

JENNY

You’re not still a stock boy, are you?

STEVE

No. I’m the produce manager. I have the green apron, brass nametag, and a parking spot.

JENNY

That’s good, I guess. I always expected to see you on Manny’s commercials. I don’t understand why you don’t work for him.

STEVE

Yeah. Neither does he. I like my life. I don’t care about that other stuff.

JENNY

It’s just, you could have so much more.

(STEVE shrugs)

Yeah. I don’t know if Manny’s told you, but we’ve been seeing each other. I guess you should know. It’s been almost three months now. Basically every day that he’s not working or busy. I feel like we’re pretty serious.

STEVE

Manny said he had some big news.

JENNY

Really?

STEVE

Yeah. This wasn’t what I expected.

JENNY

I hope you’re OK with this. Not spooked or anything.

STEVE

I thought you got engaged to some graphic designer. A programmer or something.

JENNY

(wiggles ring) Yeah. I still am, technically, I guess. He’s really great. A lot like you, really…You know, just nice. I expected so much more. I mean his game was the most downloaded app for March but that only brought in 380 dollars. 380 and he was so happy. Like it’s the thought that counts or something. I just expected so much more. Does that make sense? (pause) You think I’m terrible, don’t you?

STEVE

Can I tell you something? Listen. This is serious. For your own good. Don’t get ahead of yourself. Have fun with Manny just like he’s having fun with you. Let him do things for you, but remember, Manny’s not serious. He’ll hurt you. I know Manny. Don’t you remember?

JENNY

I remember that you always had a problem with Manny. I remember that. I remember that you tried to come between Manny and your mom, or whatever.

STEVE

Or whatever? Jenny, you’re in over your head. Manny–

JENNY

It’s Jen. And I think I can handle Manny. I mean, I had you eating out of my hand. Besides, he ‘s just a car salesman. I have a degree in logistics, for god’s sake. You know what? I knew that if you found out, you would do this. I knew this would be too much for you. You’re just going to have to get used to it.

MANNY thunders in with his shirt unbuttoned.

MANNY

Steve-O, I know you remember Jen.

MANNY squeezes up to JENNY and rubs her ass.

MANNY

Now, I know what all the fuss is about. Absolutely shameless, this one.

JENNY

Manny! Steve doesn’t need to hear that.

MANNY

Don’t want us comparing notes? Steve-O, if she was doing that at 16–

JENNY

Manny! Stop.

MANNY

There are no secrets between me and Steve-O. Right, kid?

STEVE

None.

MANNY swats JENNY‘s ass hard and sinks into the chair.

JENNY

Manny. Stop.

MANNY

Don’t get shy now. What are you drinking Steve-O? Beer? I don’t have anything brewed by Trappist Monks or dropout bicyclists from Banf. Bud Light or Corona.

STEVE

I’m good. I’m meeting Dana downtown.

MANNY

Sweetheart, get me an Absolut and ice. Splash a little water in there for color. Just grab Steve a beer. A Bud Light so he doesn’t get full.

(JENNY frowns, hesitates, then crosses to the bar to get the drinks. STEVE sits down opposite of MANNY. Both men watch JENNY for a beat.) 

She broke your heart, huh?

STEVE

Yeah. A little bit.

MANNY

I remember. I ran into her at Sliver’s. Had her nose in the air working that dump. She recognized me. I had to see what all the fuss was about. Plus, I got to right a cosmic wrong.

STEVE

I wouldn’t call her a cosmic wrong.

MANNY

I wouldn’t call her a cosmic anything.

JENNY brings back the drinks. She hands STEVE the beer and returns to MANNY. She leans against MANNY. He lets her hold the drink.

JENNY

I need to get back to Sliver’s.

MANNY

Sure, sweetheart. Run along.

JENNY

I should be off by 10.

MANNY

No. It’s family night. Why don’t you let your boyfriend have his turn.

JENNY

I would never do that to you.

MANNY

(laughs) What? Cheat on me with your husband? I love women. I do. Steve-O, you should have seen this one at Poker Night. Shameless as a Dubai whore.

STEVE

You worked a Poker Night?

MANNY

Liquor in the front and poker in the rear. That’s the only reason she’s here.

JENNY

I. Yeah. Manny asked me too.

MANNY

There you go. Be proud. Gets my blood pumping just thinking about it, Steve-O. There’s not one girl that worked my poker night that hasn’t told me that it’s the most liberating experience in the world. And you got nothing to be ashamed of, if you ask me. She was a hit. Made what? About three grand? Those rascals have been begging me for your number and you know what? I’m going to give it to them. (pause)

Listen sweetheart. Don’t make that face. There are only two types of people in this world. Sharks and Tuna. No. I’m not being nasty. I’m serious. Sooner or later you are going to have to pick which one you’re going to be. If you don’t remember anything else I put in you, remember that. Sharks are apex predators. They go after what they want. Tuna feeds the world. Tuna lets life happen to them.

JENNY

I was thinking about putting in my two weeks notice.

MANNY

Sure. Do what you want. Those dirty old men will give your tight little ass a logistics problem. Six, eight months from now, you’ll give me a thank you blowjob. Hell, a year or two, me and Steve-O will be on the “We banged the bride” row of your Hawaiian beach wedding.

JENNY

I want us to spend more time together.

MANNY

Now, you’re getting ahead of yourself. Why don’t you run along. Steve-O and me have business.

JENNY

I thought you had some big news.

(MANNY kisses JENNY’s hand)

MANNY

Sweetheart, you don’t think the big news has anything to do with you?

JENNY

(trembles) No.

MANNY

Good. Listen. You need a few bucks?

JENNY

No. I’m. No.

MANNY

Listen. That list is on the table. That’s for you. Those are private numbers. Jerry Jones doesn’t have those numbers. That list could turn your life around.

(JENNY walks slowly to the door. She hesitates. She stares at the list. She looks back at Manny. She pulls the door shut behind her.)

MANNY

Poor thing. Probably thinks she made a stand for something, today.

STEVE

You didn’t have to do that.

MANNY

That “Car Salesman-Logistics for godsake” hurt my feelings.

STEVE

Bullshit. You don’t have feelings.

MANNY

Well, if I had feelings that would have hurt them.

STEVE

I warned her about you.

MANNY

Doesn’t surprise me a bit. Anyway, nice kid. OK pussy. She’s not ready for the whole rope. Glad she didn’t take those numbers. A bookie, a TV producer, my attorney. Sounds like the start of a bad joke. Hell, the nicest I know is me. What does that tell you? (pause) So what do you think?

STEVE

(looks around) Nice. Different. Stylish.

MANNY

Yeah. The new me. That house and yard. That was always your mom’s thing. I never liked it. Never understood why she thought I needed to do the yard work myself. I felt like a wetback every time I mowed the lawn. Figured Diamond Dave and Oil Can Jerry were gonna call La Migra on me. If I left it up to her it would never get done. One time–this was at the old house–I just opened up the lot. Money was kinda tight. Your mom wanted the house painted. She wanted it painted blue. I bought the paint, picked up a truck full of Mexicans at 7-Eleven and told them what to do. Your mom said she’d supervise. Supervise. I had to work. Hell, I was my only salesman. I’d have, oh, Amy, Amy, Annie, that’s her name, Annie greet customers. That girl was all legs. Ass like a 10-year-old boy. Back when that was a good thing. Not like I needed her to answer the phones. No one was calling. Every customer that stepped on the lot made the difference between electricity or not. Hamburger Helper or dinner with a waitress. Well, when I came home, there was a truck in the driveway blaring tejano music. One Mexican was grilling fajitas. Two were sitting on the tailgate of the truck. One was pushing you around on your bike. Your mom sat on a lawn chair with a drink in her hand with another Mexican fanning her with a damned rolling pan. And every one of them was drinking a beer. The house hadn’t even been sanded yet. I said, What the hell is this, a goddamned family reunion? You know what she said? She said, Oh honey, it’s just so hot. That young Mex fanning her? He had his shirt off! Picture this: the frailest, palest, prettiest blonde you know being fanned by some hard dick while she holds a drink with an umbrella in it.

STEVE

I never heard you call mom pretty before.

MANNY

That’s what you take away from the story. Jesus, no wonder I can’t get anything through that skull of yours. Of course, I thought your mom was pretty. Why do you think I married her? (pause) I will miss the pool though.

STEVE

They have a pool here.

MANNY

Sure, but I don’t think they want a naked old man dangling around down there.

STEVE

(pause) So, what’s up?

MANNY

Doing big things. Making some changes, Steve-O. Making some big changes. Selling the house was just the beginning. This furniture. The condo. Big changes from the car lot on down. First thing, your mom’s old furniture. I really thought that I was gonna keep it, but I changed my mind. I refuse to live my life haunted by old ghosts. I don’t want any of it. I thought you might want it.

STEVE

Yeah. Sure. Thanks, Manny.

MANNY

Sure, kid. (pause) You doing OK?

STEVE

Yeah. I’m doing good. Not doing big things, but I’m doing good.

MANNY

I’m serious. It’d make an old man happy if you let me do something for you every now and then.

STEVE

Thanks, Manny, but I’m doing good.

MANNY

How much did you make last month?

STEVE

You know how much I make.

MANNY

My worst guy, Charlie Tuna, made six grand. Six grand. That’s twice what you made at Schlo-mo’s Rutabaga Co.

STEVE

I’m not selling cars for you.

MANNY

Sell for six months, a year. You’re a smart kid. Show everybody you can sell cars and I’ll make you a manager. Or let you do finance.

STEVE

I like where I’m at.

MANNY

I’m supposed to feel good about leaving my legacy to a lettuce man? Hell, the pussy alone should have you down there. If you can get a woman to give you 20 grand–

STEVE

–you can get her to give you something she doesn’t care about. Yeah. I know. I know. I’m still not going to sell cars for you.

MANNY

I know kid. I gave up on you years ago. You’re just like your mother. (pause. Slaps his thigh.) We’re going to Mexico.

STEVE

You and Jen?

MANNY

Who?

STEVE

Jen. My ex. The girl you just screwed?

MANNY

No. You and Dana. Me and Amanda. You’ll meet her. A real handful. This Mexico thing is something that I’ve been thinking about for a long time. Something that I want to do for us. For your mom.

STEVE

Mom’s dead.

MANNY

I know your mom’s dead.

STEVE

She’s been dead for two years.

MANNY

I know your mom’s dead. Damn it!

STEVE

I wasn’t sure you remembered.

MANNY

Of course I remembered. When did you get so goddamned hard to talk to?

STEVE

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.

MANNY

I’m not Greek, Tuna Fish.

STEVE

Beware of Mexicans bearing gifts.

MANNY

Stop being a pussy.

STEVE

I’ll talk to Dana.

MANNY

(looks at his watch) She should be here already. Besides, what’s to talk about. It’s a free trip to Mexico. Who turns down a free vacation? If she says no, we’ll plug in a stripper. At least we’ll know how she looks in a bikini.

STEVE

Dana’s my partner.

MANNY

Partner? Christ kid. Anyway, I already asked her. We’re all gonna meet tonight and–

(DANA lets herself in. She kicks off her shoes and walks to the bedroom as she speaks)

DANA

Manny? It’s me! I need to meet Steve, so…are you naked? Don’t shake your talleywacker at me!

STEVE

I think he’s done shaking it for the day.

MANNY

I don’t know. Maybe your old ball and chain can breath some life into it.

(DANA surprised walks toward the men)

DANA

Steve. I thought we were meeting downtown?

(DANA kisses STEVE. She hugs and kisses MANNY, covering her ass with one hand)

Dirty old man.

MANNY

If I only knew then what I know now.

DANA

I don’t think you know more, you just care less. Still, thank god you didn’t.

MANNY

I’ve been trying to teach this one his whole life. I think it’s finally starting to sink in. He’s changed the uniforms at the Rutabaga Co. One unisex apron. It’ll be like that clothing store catalog with all the nude models. Very aggressive. Very sexy. I think he’s starting to grow some shark teeth.

DANA

Oh god.

MANNY

Go get your apron Steve-O. Let Dana model it for us.

STEVE

(MANNY impression.) Let’s get you out of those clothes, Sugartits.

(DANA raises her eyebrow at STEVE.)

STEVE

Making some big changes.

MANNY

Kid after my own heart.

(DANA and STEVE sit. The door buzzes. MANNY rises to get the door)

DANA

Good day?

STEVE

(shakes his head) Walked in on Manny fucking my high school sweetheart.

DANA

No! Today? I don’t see how you’re not some super-sociopath with a homicidal streak. It doesn’t make sense that you’re not. (pause) I wish you would grow teeth. Just one time. You’re just…nice.

STEVE

I remember when that was a good thing. (pause) You probably passed her in the lobby.

DANA

White girl?

STEVE

…with good hair.

DANA

(pushes STEVE) Shut up.

(MANNY opens the door. AMANDA leaps into his arms. After they kiss, she follows him to the living room.)

MANNY

This is Amanda. Spin around, sweetheart. Give ’em an eye full.

(AMANDA holds out her arms and spins.)

MANNY

Not bad for an old man.

STEVE

Not bad.

MANNY

Pretty damn good you mean. Dana, show Amanda how to make a real drink. And make sure Steve-O drinks something.

(DANA rolls her eyes and crosses to AMANDA.)

DANA

Welcome to Manny-Land, Amanda.

AMANDA

It’s just like Disney but with big, hairy balls, and longer rides.

(DANA glances back at STEVE then leads AMANDA to the bar.)

MANNY

Not bad, huh?

STEVE

How old is she?

MANNY

Hell. 18. 19. Your age.

STEVE

I’m 23.

MANNY

Little younger than you then. Gives a hell of a blow job. (pause) But not as good as you.

STEVE

Fuck you.

(DANA and AMANDA return with the drinks. Hand them to MANNY and STEVE.)

MANNY

I hope you taught her everything you know.

DANA

I could tell her all she needs to know about you in two minutes.

MANNY

That’s 30 seconds longer than I need to show her.

(DANA kisses STEVE as she sits down. He pulls away. AMANDA straddles MANNY.)

AMANDA

Miss me, Big Daddy?

 

Jesus.

MANNY

Didn’t even notice you were gone. Me and Steve-O were about to call some big-boned bakery girls that he knows from Schlo-Mo’s.

AMANDA

(makes prayer hands.) Dear Lord, someday let me meet a man that won’t hop a fence to fuck a pig. Amen.

STEVE

Maybe we should go down to Slivers.

DANA

That sounds exactly like the kind of shady place that Manny hides out in.

AMANDA

I love places like that. They never ID.

MANNY

Uh-oh. Another skeleton falls out of my closet.

AMANDA

Is that how you met?

AMANDA

(hesitates) No.

MANNY

It’s OK. Tell ’em, sweetheart.

AMANDA

(breath) So, this is embarrassing. My boyfriend stole my car. Great guy, right? But when I reported it stolen, the police tell me that this asshole somehow put the title in his name.

MANNY

It’s easy. You’d be surprised.

AMANDA

Yeah. They made me pay this big, huge fine for filing a false police report. Can you believe that? He basically steals my car and I’m the one that almost goes to prison. Then, every dealership in town turns me down because now I have no down payment and some related credit issues. The good news is that I saw Manny ‘s commercial. That cheesy one with Manny in the clown nose and the big boob girls that say, “We got a Big Daddy deal” then kiss his cheeks. (AMANDA touches her dimples) So, I went down there and threw myself on his mercy.

MANNY

It wasn’t my mercy she threw herself on.

DANA

Oh, Manny!

STEVE

Try getting around Dallas without a car.

AMANDA

You can’t! And the DART rail is for tourists, basically. Well, this salesman introduced us and Manny explained how credit really worked. That with bad credit, it’s all about the down payment, blah-blah. Manny told me the dealership couldn’t help me but if I worked at a couple of his poker parties, he would help with the down payment. He said I might even meet a nice guy. Sounds too good to be true, right? A couple thousand dollars just to let a bunch of dirty old men squeeze my boobs and pinch my ass? Sure, what’s the catch? And you know what? It was really kinda fun. I even met a nice guy.

(AMANDA kisses MANNY)

MANNY

It didn’t work out, so she called me.

AMANDA

Plus, I’m the proud new owner of a Honda Civic. It’s really cute.

MANNY

(to STEVE) Low miles. Automatic.

DANA

Manny’s scared to death that someone will find out he has a heart.

AMANDA

An old softie.

MANNY

Wait. Which part are we talking about.

STEVE

The old softie says you give a hell of a blowjob.

(DANA slaps STEVE’s shoulder. MANNY grins like an imp. AMANDA glances from MANNY to STEVE, then smiles)

AMANDA

I can also name the starting line-ups of the last ten World Series teams, but somehow that just isn’t as impressive!

DANA

You can really do that?

AMANDA

Uh-huh. I call it America’s other favorite pastime. It’s what I think about when I go snorkeling.

DANA

Snorkeling? (AMANDA pumps her fist at her rounded mouth) Ugh. That’s nice.

AMANDA

Really? What do you call it?

DANA

I don’t call it anything.

AMANDA

How sad for Steve.

DANA

You don’t have to be sad for Steve. Steve does OK.

(DANA and AMANDA glare at each other)

MANNY

See what you started, Steve-O?

STEVE

Tell us about Mexico.

(MANNY smiles and pulls AMANDA close.)

MANNY

(shrugs) What’s to tell. We leave Friday.

 

CURTAIN.

PEN America celebrates the winners of the 2016 Prison Writing Contest with a live event, PEN Breakout: Voices from the Inside on Nov. 28 at The Green Space in New York City.