Heel of My Hand
This week in the PEN Poetry Series, PEN America features a poem by Jacqueline Waters.
Heel of My Hand
You are
as attentive
with me
as a friend
patiently
remove
first your left
then right
earphone
each time
my lips
part
Keeping
this attention
is key to
getting through
I think
or everyone
thinks (my
thoughts just
a bristle from
their brush)
You recommend
a delay in
investigation
(you say
justice
is always
best when
delayed)
and press
the pen
to the
paper’s most
unforgiving
places
You are
to me
a big ‘how’
(like no one
—they say—
asks a billionaire
why they made
2 billion dollars
they just ask
how)
Oh how I
used to think
I needed
someone to
hold my hands
to the piano
at the bar
that everyone
would rather
no one played
How I used
to want more
clarifications
and how I used
to want (I
cannot tell
you how
desperately
I wanted)
to call them
(the wants)
a surcharge
on the price
of admitting
to preference
for I preferred
you above
others
clownish
though it
made
me seem
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