Dane Toomey

I am a forty-year-old former Marine who works in my facility’s library and writes handmade books for fun. My favorite authors are (in no particular order) Douglas Adams, Christopher Moore, Robert Heinlein, Donald E. Westlake and Dean Koontz. Parody, sarcasm and alliteration are my weapons of choice. Please do not let electronica take away physical books.


Articles by Dane Toomey

Prison and Justice Writing
Tuesday May 10

Apple Jelly

“Clem! Where you been hidin’? Ain’t seen you in a month o’ Sundays!” “Tell ya what Emmett, you buy me a Pabst an’ I’ll tell ya ’xactly where I been. You ain’t gonna believe it though. I barely believe it ma own self, an’ I was there for it.” “Darrell, a pitcher o’ Pabst for