(From the first scene: Court Room Day) Gerry Dibble stands before God with one of Jesus’ representatives who is defending him. Satan’s officer is prosecuting him and one ofhis representatives is asking for twenty-five years in hell followed by post-supervision. Also present is Mohammed, God’s court clerk and the bailiff Samson. Moses is the court stenographer.
DIBBLE: Wait, wait, a second! You’re telling me that I gotta do twenty-five years in hell? What is this?
PAUL: The best deal I can get you is twenty-five. Based on your prior sins, your very immoral behavior, and the worthlessness of your character.
DIBBLE: Wait now hold on. Let me get this straight you’re supposed to be my lawyer, right?
PAUL: I work for Jesus out of the Nazareth office, and yes I am supposed to seek the best judgment for you.
DIBBLE: Okay. Okay, well, don’t you think heaven is the best judgment for me? I’m supposed to get the pearly gates. I’ve paid for those sins. What do they say about heaven? There’s girls aren’t there? Like maids with the milk waterfalls? That’s what I need. Get the waterfalls.
PAUL: Listen, Mr. Dibble, you have to understand a few things. Number one, you’re charged with Cannan Penal Law section one through seven.
DIBBLE: What’s that?
PAUL: In laymen’s terms, you broke seven of the ten commandments.
DIBBLE: Not me. Not seven, I swear to God.
PAUL: Well, now it’s eight commandments. This DA is going to file a superseding indictment on you.
DIBBLE: What’s that mean?
ESSAU: Your holiness, may we approach?
GOD: Yes, I just heard it myself. Paul, your client has just committed blasphemy.
PAUL: Your holiness, I don’t know if my client’s behavior can be characterized as blasphemy. I maintain that he was basically lying and furthermore, that conversation is actually protected under the attorney-client privilege.
GOD: Essau, your position?
ESSAU: I think the comment speaks for itself. Mr. Dibble will do or say anything to maintain a life of luxury, lascivious behavior, and immorality.
GOD: All right, I’ve got sentencing in a minute for the lake case involving Mr. Abdulla Al Rabim. I’ll adjourn until the seventeenth.