Wide Enough
Wide Enough
wasn’t crossing the
fence line a bird
that wasn’t perched
in the magnolia
and wasn’t flying—
wasn’t a magic
cry or forest
or fist of smoke
It looked ordinary. So go driving— why not?
What about the word “people”— that’s what “people” do.
Ordinary people expect. So I did too.
Widens in snow— the field was cars over overpass— the high ground where you can see far— darling you: dear nasty wind I expect, the daring I expect, the slick bridges to come. This is my apple to fail, my empty milk jug, I thought—ordinary brand of living with— I don’t know what I thought.
Fall or not—
Lost or not—
Fail or not—
Found or not—
“are you kidding me—
what would you ever do
without me”—
your horse at any moment might buck, knock you to the ground, step on your chest— you might lose your glasses in the road— your wine bottles breaking and spilling across the hayfield— at any moment— you were bleeding bleeding out and none of us could see it— okay, all of us could see it—
We were losing you
losing
you
ice to lips— I don’t
want you to leave—
are you leaving—
are you thirsty
and flying— the magic
cry in the forest— you
look like someone
else who was also
dying— you don’t look
like my mother saying
“just my daughters and
no one else ”
“just my daughters”
I couldn’t. No one could—
You were at the lake. You had two very young children and you were living away from everyone you love and you’re back. You’re at the lake with everyone you love. You’re on vacation. You look sleep deprived. He’s calling to say you’re going broke, he’s going to get fired, his bosses all hate him, and what are you going to do about it.
Fall or not—
Lost or not—
Fail or not—
Found or not—
I couldn’t. No one could. Say “come back to me.” Say “come back.” I couldn’t say. Rebound, return, no one could— you are strong enough— or wait— or is that me—strong enough for us both— or no, you were alone— or no, I wanted you to live alone— to say— Home. Again. You could leave— Rooms go dark. Until the house—lamplight or is it— moon I think apple slice— I knew you might never come back.
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